I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize