I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
