I feel great
I just peed on a car
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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