Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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