i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
