would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
