I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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