Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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