i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I AM VODKA MAN
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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