Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
