If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Every concussion has its silver lining
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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