AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
