I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just google imaged poop.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
