I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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