i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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