there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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