the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
