I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
