my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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