BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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