my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
