I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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