I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
