At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
