....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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