sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
