like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
