Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
