"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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