Having a random hookup so left but love u
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
