Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
