hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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