At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
