I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
