another moral hangover. fuck.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
