Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
