I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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