Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
