i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize