Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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