PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize