I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Send help, water and tortillas.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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