i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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