why didn't you poke me back
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
