You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
