Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize