"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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