Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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