i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
