Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize