K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
