Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The best revenge is premature balding
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
