I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this will be a night to untag.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
