Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
