I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
