His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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