# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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