Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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