it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The air taste purple.
Randomize
