I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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